30/09/2009

i wonder, what is the point of preparing for your role, and not being used in the end. It seems as though the effort put in is absolutely wasted and pointless in hindsight. What makes it even more depressing is the fact that all is done with an aim for God's purpose, and yet it is of no use in the end.

So, why do we do what we do? If everything we did goes down the drain, what is the point of doing what we do?

Looking at the prophets in the Old Testament, i believe that they spread God's message of repentance to the people with a hope that they might listen and repent for what they are doing. Yet not many prophets are able to see this hope being fulfilled, with an exception in Jonah. When opportunities diminishes, does our effort and faith diminish together as well? Do the prophets gave up and shut themselves in a convent, forever lamenting their unfavourable conditions, or simply keep it unto themselves?

I do gain much by preparing for my role. It is my first time preparing the teaching for a long long time, helping me to re-learn and revise some previous things taught to me. But what purpose does it achieve if it benefits me alone?

I still believe that i need to do what i do. But i need hope that wouldnt fail me to see it come to a past.