SUPPORT and LOVE will never replace encouragement cards and affirmations....

And its not rocket science to understand why.

Do you still remember why you serve?
Do you still remember the fervour and conviction when you said 'Yes' to God?
Do you still remember how God put you through testings and provide you with the eventual deliverance?

Do i still remember the above things?

Sometimes i just feel that giving your best isnt enough,
the ends doesn't justify the efforts you have put in.

I have not served because of the position,
nor of the number of meetings to go to.
These are of insignificance to me!
I just want to see people grow,
to experience life transformation
and yet this has not come to past.

Are my expectations too high?

Are they too unrealistic and unachievable?

Tell me what am i supposed to do
how to see victory in this hopelessly futile situation

Do you ever experience,
a sense of lostness that you dont even know what is the next step,
a sense of despair that stares at hopelessness,
a sense of loneliness that no one else understands,
a sense of brokenness unprecedented in your life?

What will you do if the above happens to you, at one, single, heavy blow?

The worse day ever.... lol.

Sometimes i just feel lonely,
Like no one understands the situation i am going through.
Am i to walk this journey alone,
and take up the weight of my task upon my shoulders?
It seems to be in vain,
sometimes a little hopeless
in the things that i do and want to do.

But i know i cant give up,
for here is where my sole hope and salvation could be found.
With a broken heart and feeble hands,
i reach out to you for strength.
Remember Your promise, oh Lord,
that you never leave or forsake me
for in you i will find peace.

[Romans 8:16-17]
The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children,
then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his suffering in
order that we may also share in His glory.

I will remember the Lord,
and all the things that He has opened my eyes to.
Oh God,
Remind me of your love and grace,
that has brought me to who i am and where i am now.

Afflictions and problems have come my way,
my heart is discouraged and distressed.
Problems seemed to come wave after wave,
there is no moment of peace.
But still my hope is placed in the Lord,
For He has been good to me.

Oh Lord do not forget your servant,
cast off my iniquities and sins,
Place my focus on your greatness
and your mighty power
that brings me comfort and assurance.

Grant me peace, Oh Lord,
For you are my Jehovah Shalom.

[Psalm 25:16-17]
Turn to me and be gracious to me,
For i am lonely and afflicted.

The troubles of my heart have multiplied,
Free me from my anguish.

2/NOV/2009

I am a man, make no mistake about it.

I do make mistakes.

I do have weaknesses.

I do have things that i feel comfortable and not comfortable with.

I am flawed and thus, imperfect.

Therefore do not expect me to be a person that you think i would be.
I am not bounded by judgements nor expectations.
I would rather be myself than trying to be someone that meets the expectation of others.

Facades come and go, yet they always will be temporary.
The mask will peel off eventually, revealing the core of a person's heart.
When a heart is engaged in a war within itself,
who can bear the pain, the confusion?
Yet wars would not last forever,
there will be a time to fight,
yet also a time to recover and to heal.
But that time is yet to come.
Therefore,
be patient, i beseech you.

Be patient in hope.